Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Nothing to say here....

Just in to work on this allegedly therapeutic dose of hell-proate (which is playing hackey-sack with my intestines as we speak), and already feeling sleepy and grumpy. At this rate I will have progressed through all seven dwarves by the end of the week.

It is possible, of course, that Disney's Snow White is not a bowdlerised and saccharine German folktale, but actually a multilayered allegory on the experience of mental illness. Snow White lives free and happy, living with sideshow freaks and talking to animals in the wilderness, until betrayed by the wicked queen, who tricks her into taking a poison apple and being cast into a deep slumber - sounds like your psychiatrist detaining you under the mental health act followed by ten mls of zuclopenthixol in the right buttock.

Presumably Snow White's subsequent three months of electro convulsive therapy was cut from the 1938 version.

Of course, in this analogy the dwarves "Bashful", "Doc", "Dopey", "Grumpy", "Happy",
"Sleepy" and "Sneezy" only refer to unmedicated bipolar. The dwarvish pantheon for medicated BPAD would have to be expanded to include Fatty, Floppy, Baldy and Drooly, plus a dwarf named after that weird reaction you get when your neck gets stiff and your eyes roll back in your head. Oculogyric Crisis-y? Extra-Pyramidal Side Effects-y? Well, the latter are commonly abbreviated to EPSE, so Epsey the dwarf it is. Epsey, meet John, John, Epsey.

Grumpy in French, by the way, is Grincheux. Sneezy in Spanish is Alergico. Swedish had Butter for Grumpy and Trotter for Sleepy, while German gives us the evocative Pimpel (the understandably Bashful dwarf) and Schlafmütz (Sleepy).

So, butter and schlafmutz today, and only getting schlafmutzer and more buttery as the day goes on.

Anyway, actually sick person at the door. Will reply to emails, etc. ... soonish. Feel very averse to talking to anyone, even those who have been excessively courteous about this whole thing. I am more in the "things to do: curl up and die" stage at the moment.

However, if I do wig out and murder Benedict, I note that I am in the unusual position of being able to write myself a valid sick note and presumably fully exculpate myself. I may need legal advice on this. I wonder if I can sign my own detention form...

Thanks for listening,

John

4 Comments:

Blogger Foilwoman said...

I'll defend you. Except I like Benny and I'm not licensed to practice in Oz, so don't. Oh, and don't forget the other dwarves: metallic taste in the mouth; dry mouth; buzzing in the back of the head; and delayed reaction speech. Those are my faves.

2:05 PM  
Blogger Benedict 16th said...

Sodium Valproate

I Moved Plus Aorta?
Do Vote Marsupial*
given the bowel symptoms -Violates or a dump?
Mad or violates up!
Out as old vampire
D'Imp Veto Arousal
Social withdrawal - Avoider plus Moat
Mort A Devious Pal
Doom Prevails at U
Rivaled atom soup
rioutous lead vamp
Palmed to saviour
Uproots avid male
Uproots avid meal
Toad vampire soul
Apes virtual mood
Vomited aura slop
Advise moral pout
Upset amoral void
Arouse vapid molt
Impale cast odour
Sod utopia marvel
Vale odious tramp
Putrid Moose lava
if it was antipsychotic - revamp lost audio

my favourite
Admits poor value

or if just Valproate:
A Love Trap






* State elections this weekend so semi-topical

10:56 PM  
Anonymous Camilla said...

Your Holiness, do you have too much time on your hands, by any chance? :P

(my favourite was putrid moose lava)

BJ, your post reminded me of the video clip for Rammstein's "Sonne". If you get the chance, you should see it. In it, the band members are dwarves, slave to Eeefil Snow White for whom they mine drugs. Not quite what you were getting at, but interesting all the same. And with the added bonus that it's sung all in ferocious sounding German.

Loved the new dwarf names.

4:25 AM  
Blogger Prom said...

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12:56 AM  

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