Thursday, February 23, 2006

My job is not shit

Today I have to tell some woman that she will no longer be able to turn up to the pharmacist with a script and pick up a few days worth of medication like normal people. Instead she will be restricted to daily doses of her medication, taken under the watchful eye of our pharmacist.

And all because of one little forged script for opiates, so the police say.

Anyway. Not looking forward to that. She will probably cry, because she cried last time about something else, and I hate making people cry. If I wanted to make people cry, I wouldn't have been a doctor, i'd have stuck with the door to door selling.

Anyway, this made me think about some of the worst jobs I have had. There was the previous door to door selling, of circuit breakers and religious fundamentalism, which I found less than rewarding.

There was picking lemons in the Riverland, during that run where we had ten days in a row over forty degrees and five over forty five and I got paid two dollars fifty an hour. Lemon trees have long spines on them, and the ladders are fourteen foot long and aluminium, and as you balance on the point of the ladder it frequently pitches forward so you gently slide into the thorns and you impale yourself. Four weeks, less than a thousand dollars, sunburn, two dislocated shoudlers and some kind of ankle fracture.

Plus I ate radioactive meat for money in medical school, whcih was actually quite good. Hear me moan, as they say.

But anyway - inspired by this (and the imprisonment of one of my clients,leaving a gap in my otherwise full schedule), and believing that there is always someone much worse off than you, I searched around for some truly bad jobs. Current possibilities include sensory deprivation research assistant or hermit... both of which have appealed to me on previous occasion.

But the past has much to teach us here. Ever wanted to get close to royalty? Work with animals? Inspire people and have an interest in public speaking?

Anyway, I am too easily amused today. Thanks again for the comments. See you all soon.



Anonymous Danny said...

Radioactive meat? That'd explain why you give off a nice, soft luminous green glow in the dark.

3:36 PM  
Blogger Benedict 16th said...

And the ability to eject ropes of silk from his wrists...
and look good in a red lycra body suit....
well maybe not.

I think we will have to swap stories... like the druggie I picked up and did a little
scratching under the surface, she has severe pulmonary hypertension and needs a heart lung transplant
pretty damn soon (and she is 35), and she has started to talk in short snatches of 5 or so
words between breaths. And for those interns out there, yes and she uses 4 pillows to sleep.


hpyone =that is hardly a description of me... I'm a major depressive type

8:27 PM  
Blogger Chade said...

How poorly that woman must feel being unable to abuse her pharmacuticals anymore. My heart, if I had one, would bleed for her.
It's great to have you back doc.
Probably one of the worst jobs I ever had was removing kidney's from sheep, goats, cows, and roos. Strangely enough, you get used to it after a while.

9:02 AM  
Blogger Bronze John said...

The radioactive meat wasn't the worst experiment there. There was an entire gastro department at the Royal, with teams working feverishly to uncover the secrets of both ends of the tract.

Others did worse, believe me.


8:35 PM  
Blogger Bronze John said...

Hail Benny,
Sounds grim.
Speaking about the drug patients - I don't reckon I have ever met a patient group who is so sick so young. I saw some guy the other day and he had an ulcerating skin cancer of some kind eating into his head and he wanted panadeine forte for it. He got an urgent CT scan (which he won't go to) and a hospital referral (which he won't attend). I had to write in the notes that I told him if he didn't go to hospital he would probably die within the next few years.


8:38 PM  
Blogger Bronze John said...

Okay, I'm stumped. Why did someone want that many kidneys?


8:39 PM  

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