Monday, July 03, 2006

Early morning nymphomania

Hail,
Grovelling apologies first of all - lots of stuff going on and not enough time to blog. Having said that, not as much going on for me as for some.

Firstly, Sarah is a bit low at the moment, hopefully not from early stage SLIMI (Spouse /Lover Induced Mental Illness*) and I have had to reassure her over the last weekend that I am not going to leave her for a teenage gymnast with early morning nymphomania. We've been doing a fair bit of talking and I have tried to tell her that for me, the ability to put your heels in your ears while achieving the Congress of the Crab is much less important than the ability to look convincingly interested while I bang on interminably about myself.

Anyway, as they say in writing classes - show, don't tell. So, flowers, clean house, romantic gifts (as far as I understand the term) and off to traditional Tibetan/Nepalese Restaurants (where they serve prawns? Do they have prawns in the Himalayas?). Stuff like that. All will be well with this. Without wishing to sound ubermanly, that's not some glib reassurance, that's what's going to happen.

Meanwhile, I have started studying again, for some reason. This time, I have reassured everyone, will be easier, and I will be less curmudgeonly to live with, and so far it seems to be true. And I might even pass. A lot of the stuff is interesting - I am studying physiology and pharmacology, which is basically how the body works and how medications work, which means I leaven conversation with fascinating little tid-bits like "the freezing point of human blood is half a degree below zero" and the fact that warfarin, the popular blood thinner and rat poison, was invented when vets noticed that cows eating mouldy sweet clover would die from uncontrolled bleeding from miniscule cuts and grazes.

This technique gets me unlimited time by myself to study, and can clear a room faster than some of my nieces music.

I also managed to get a science fiction short story published in a magazine "into which I have been trying to get" for years, and which will be coming out soon - and I've started writing again.

One of the stories may be unpublishable because in it Bobby Fischer (the previous world chess champion) goes mad and starts raving about the world-wide Jewish conspiracy and mind control. The only reason I think this is not actual libel is because as far as anyone can tell, Bobby Fischer (the previous world chess champion) has gone mad and does spend a lot of time raving about the world-wide Jewish conspiracy and mind control.

Plus I have been going to the gym and doing judo and so on.

Plus the last week has been rather busy with a friend of mine being in and out of hospital (i.e.: in unless accompanied by a fairly responsible adult, which usually means Sarah or me).

And before anyone asks, the possible implications of all this increasing energy, increasing goal-directed activity and feelings of remarkable self-confidence are apparent to me. But this is the longest period of uninterrupted psychotropic compliance I have ever had. All, as previously stated, will be well.

Thanks for listening,
John


*Couldn't choose between this one and SLIMED (Spouse or Lover Induced Mental or Emotional Disorder). Feedback welcome.

12 Comments:

Anonymous John said...

Hey John, for what it is worth, it is great to have you back blogging. Your blog is on my daily read checkup list. It has been a long spell between posts. I was despairing that you were not coming back online. You are always an interesting read. Good luck with your offline activities, mate.

Cheers.

5:06 PM  
Blogger Benedict 16th said...

CHURD

Couple Having Unusually Retarded Day?

I dare you to use the word Churd in your next post!

Benedict

8:49 PM  
Anonymous Mw Brokking-Maltas said...

I missed your posts too! But I kept myself busy by going off and getting married.

Glad to see you back :D

7:49 AM  
Blogger Tournee Du Chat Noir said...

Yee-harrr!!! So it happened!!! How did it all go? Congratulations from Tournee and BJ!!

Love,
Tournee & BJ!!

8:02 AM  
Blogger Foilwoman said...

I think you have to go with SLIMED . . . Or I could just say: "Damn near drove me crazy, stupid son-of-a-bitch." Or something like that. Are you in psychotropic compliance right now? If not, comply, comply, comply. Congratulations on the publication of the story.

1:36 PM  
Anonymous Camilla said...

Thanks Tournee and BJ! It was brilliant, we had the best day :D I'll be doing a big write up on my LJ soon - watch that space ;)

I've also posted a link to my Flickr account in my LJ, which has a few photos on it (I'm uploading more, but slowly).

5:06 PM  
Anonymous Bobby Fisher's Attorney said...

Dear Sir:

Please post your mailing address, and that of your own legal advisor. You will shortly be receiveing documents by certified mail.

Sincerely yours, etc, etc

Sol Levine, Esq.
Levine, Levine, Goldfarb and Levine

3:46 AM  
Blogger Bronze John said...

Levine, Levine, Goldfarb and Levine? - I've heard they're tough. Hope I don't get Levine. There is actually a book called "Tough Jews", about Jewish gangsters in the thirties and forties. I recommend it.

Cam - brilliant wedding photo, even though it sounds like getting to everything wedding was a bit nerve-wracking! We have been following things from here. You looked lovely.

And churd? Sorry, but it's not in any of the dictionaries at onelook.com. It suggests that perhaps you meant "chud", verb transitive, meaning "to champ; to bite", or "chard", a noun meaning long succulent whitish stalks with large green leaves.

And John, thanks for the good wishes. Hopefully I will be posting more regularly now, especially since I have important study to do and so a strong motivation to spend my time doing something, anything, else.

John

10:41 PM  
Blogger Bronze John said...

And Cam' - how do you pronounce "Mw"?

FW - Am complying as we speak. Actually quite easy once you get the hang of it. I will post something here one day. Might do it next, actually.

John

10:46 PM  
Blogger Benedict 16th said...

BJ,
You obviously look in the wrong dictionaries....
try here: Churd
Benedict

9:48 PM  
Blogger Niamh Sage said...

Thanks BJ!

"Mw" is short for "mevrouw", with the ou part being pronounced as in ouch, and the v being halfway between English v and f. Argh, hard to explain! I'll pronounce it to you next time we talk on the phone :P

Thanks for the good wishes! I feel all delighted that you guys were watching from afar :D Long-arse wedding write up will appear as soon as I've assembled the photo essay.

Camilla
:)

3:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

May be it is not so important here, but I'd like to define this phenomenon:
Nymphomania is a close to pathological sex drive, which is characterized by constant urge to have sexual contacts. Women, who are called nymphomaniac, usually have compulsive behavior. The difference between a woman who is nymphomaniac and simply has more powerful libido is an absolute promiscuity, i.e. having sex with partners irrespective of age, sex or appearance of the partner.
This defenition i've found here:
www.love-shop.biz/hypersexuality.html

9:27 PM  

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