Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Big Brother

Horrible shock yesterday. I walked in on my niece in the loungeroom, and she was doing something that utterly revolted me.

Yes, lying on the lounge watching a show called Big Brother. She says many will be familiar with the basic sadomasochistic premise of this show, apparently there are versions everywhere.

So I sat down and tried to share her interests/spoil it for her. Lasted exactly twelve minutes. Twelve frickin miutes of watching someone you don't know gossip about someone you don't know, interspersed with grainy action shots of a group fo people lying in bed. I kid you not.

Good God, now I know how those fundamentalists preachers feel when they thump the Bible and rail against teh rising tide of immorality that threatens to engulf us all. I am going to look and see if this programme is actually mentioned in Revelations as a sign of teh End Times.

Our text for today is Revelations 17, verses 3 and 4 and verse 18, from the Revised Revised Standard Version.

Rev 17:3 He carried me away in the Spirit into a wilderness. I saw a woman sitting on a scarlet-colored beanbag, full of blasphemous tatts, having seven piercings and a skanky swimsuit top.

Rev 17:4 The woman was dressed in purple and scarlet, and decked with six carat gold and dangly earrings, having in her hand a golden cup full of something the cat would't drink and the impurities of her upcoming prime-time subtle-as-a-bus-crash fornication.

17:18 The woman whom you saw is the number one winter ratings programme, which reigns over all of the earth, but mostly teh growing tide of stupid ones.

Words fail me (not yet, more's the pity). What is the masculine of skank? What is the collective noun for airhead? If you opened the door and threw in a live idea, would the poor little bugger slowly die of exposure before finding a brain to crawl into?

This is series six. Well, stupid is when you don't learn from your mistakes. I honestly believe that each series, each episode of this show lowers the collective IQ. I am not joking. You are what you eat, you can only write good stuff if you read good stuff... this stuff is some kind of negative learning, teh neurological equivalen of those meals that allegedly take more energy to digest than you get out of them.

We as a species are doomed. We've already had five series - anyone notice how well the space race has been going lately? Da Vinci code on the top of the bestsellers list? Vote counting machines that can't... well, count votes?

Three more series of this show and the bloody koalas will be able to take over. A plane will land at Sydney airport (from some blessed place with no TV) and there'll be an eerie silence, broken only by the sighing of the wind, and gum trees from horizon to horizon.

I warned you....



Blogger Champurrado said...

We live in a debased society.

6:37 AM  
Blogger Benedict 16th said...

Or a free based society (a pun on crack cocaine or base speed)

8:53 PM  
Blogger Champurrado said...

Your holiness:

That's funny...

But, as an attorney, I also live in a fee based society.

11:25 PM  
Anonymous Camilla said...

Being of the witchly persuasion, I (attempt to) live in a fey-based society.

1:20 AM  

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