Monday, May 14, 2007

Grey's Psychopathology

Hail,
I've been messing about for a few days with an idea for a post entitled "robot sex", but instead I'm going to write this one. Robot sex, however, is on its way.

ICU tomorrow. This means today is my last day of weekend, so last night Sarah and I sat up watching "how to be a truly appalling doctor" DVDs: I borrowed a season of House and a season of Grey's Anatomy from the video store.

We ended up designing this drinking game people could play where whenever anyone on the show does something that would get them disciplined, sacked, arrested or struck off the medical register you drink a glass of whatever you're having. This will get you cirrhosis of the liver in six months, or three if you add in every time someone does something that would get someone killed.

Alternatively, if you don't believe in drinking, you can bet beforehand on who will do something fatal/sackable etc. first: Last night's Grey's Anatomy had us asking would it be the beautiful main character (an emotionally unstable lustbucket who would tongue-kiss a gila monster), her room-mate with the secret crush (a dough-like boy-child only ever three minutes away from a complete attack of the vapours), her repellant fratboy pursuer (whom I believe is actually there to try to end lives), or her best friend (emotionally constipated to the point of impaction, and with a clinically evident anti-social personality disorder)?

Anyway. I am hoping to get in to work early tomorrow, because if I do, I can spend half an hour on the computer looking up what happened to my patients from last week.

The frustrating thing about modern medicine, the succession of short term interventions. The ICU, like everywhere else, is set up for high volume, short term, rapid turnover kind of interventions, lots of moving people in and out. Sometimes it reminds me of one of those advertisements where the guy turns up and shouts a lot about how he's gone completely crazty and he's got to get rid of of a lot of stock.

We could have put that on an ad for Shipton ED. Everything or everyone must go.

The reasons for this high turnover stuff are complex, but basically to me it means most of the time the guy I left there on Tuesday night isn't going to be there next Saturday.

So, if I get in early, I can look stuff up. Tomorrow is checking on Mr Sweet (our malignant diabetic from a few days ago), to see if he is still detained, Mr Grave, a man about whom more later, and Mrs Chang, to whom I suspect a truly terrible thing may have happened. And more about her later too.


Thanks for listening,
John

13 Comments:

Blogger The Girl said...

You blog is fantastic, I love reading it.

Thanks for posting!

4:53 PM  
Blogger Midwife with a Knife said...

I do love the vaguely constant parade of unprofessional and medically dangerous behavior on Grey's Anatomy. It aids with my willing suspension of disbelief.

I'm starting to become less interested in House. The constant un-reality of the ?fellows? who do everything from echos to their own MRIs to many different procedures (that in the real world, they'd be unlikely to know how to do), is starting to turn me off. The mystery aspect of it is kind of fun, once in a while.

5:17 AM  
Blogger Benedict 16th said...

Middie (if I can call you that),
House is such a *&%$ how can you say that you have never seen a doctor without some aspect of him?
He represents all that is unbelievable but we get away with, as doctors. He (House) started out being someone with Asperger's but Steve Fry really has made him his own character.

Tell me that you have never seen Nurse Mildred Ratched in your brethren?

Benedict

Also
for BJ - Praise the Fnord!

No explanation for shed that fell from sky
It may go down in the books as an unexplained phenomena, although for insurance purposes there might be a case for an act of God.

Last Monday afternoon, skies were virtually clear and there was only a light breeze at Elkhorn in Casey County when a four-thousand pound aluminum storage building rose from the rear of a church and fell onto the church roof.

Pastor Jeff Edwards of the Pine Grove Church says the 12-by-24 foot building had a few building supplies inside, but no explosive materials. No suspicious residues were found by the sheriff's office and state police. The flying shed left a hole in a wall of the church.

Texas Eastern Gas found no evidence of natural gas leaks. Edwards says in Acts Chapter One, the Bible says that Jesus ascended and that "... the 120 were in the upper room praying." He also quoted Acts Chapter two that says the Holy Spirit came as a "... rushing, mighty wind, and it sealed those that were in the upper room praying."

The day before the incident, church attendance had been 120, and the hole in the church wall was in the prayer room. Damage has been estimated at nearly $20,000.

11:56 PM  
Blogger Benedict 16th said...

I meant Hugh Lawrie

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