Long time no post, and it may possibly be that way for a while.
Don't know. The mood's not one hundred percent. And while that doesn't mean I'll be grabbing my hanky and rushing off into a corner just yet, it does mean that my writing (and reading) may be less frequent than hoped. So sorry about that.
The thing is, some of what I'm feeling is not endogenous depression. I feel tired, for example, but I am working close on a fifty hour week, in two jobs, one of which is new and bloody challenging and the other of which is challenging in a different kind of way. Plus I am studying for the primary exam in September, which is taking up a fair swathe of my spare time.
The study is also a bit anxiogenic - everytime I sit down to study this little voice starts murmuring in my head about how I'm never going to be any good at this. It does go after a while, because studying is calming in a way. But there is the issue of why I am putting myself through this when others, perhaps wiser than myself, have left all that behind them.
Lest anyone be concerned, when I said "a little voice murmuring" I was speaking metaphorically. I remember hearing a cricket commentator once talking about the batting performance of
Anyhow. Luckily the medications I am on at the moment are the less nasty kind. I once came up with this measure called the FI or Futility Index of a medication. The Futility Index is a measure of how much overlap there was between the side effects of a medication and the symptoms of the disease it was meant to treat. Antidepressants (that make you fat and sexless) being prescribed for depression (which makes you fat and sexless) - that kind of thing. The tricyclics have a fairly high FI - both the medication and the condition they are prescribed to treat make it easy to kill yourself, for example.
More stuff, and hopefully less whiney, in a few days.
Thanks for listening,
JohnPS - Ox-bows, by the way, are those left-behind pools of water that are formed when a river gets too slow and meandering to carry all its water to the sea.