Saturday, April 30, 2005

Do you see what I see?


Chaos over here. I have the parent's in law over from the East Coast sleeping in our bedroom, and the mother of our boarder is over from Brisbane and is sleeping on the lounge, and Sarah and I are sleeping in the spare room, up against the ironing board and amongst the piles of washing. This means that when I get up to go to work in the morning I have to run from room to room, clad only in a towel, while my seventy year old mother in law averts her eyes.

This reminds me of one of the very few times I have had contact with the police, aside from the ED or the occasional random breath testing. It was about ten years ago, and we were over East visiting relatives and staying in Sarah's parent's house. We were engaged.

Anyway, around three in the morning there was this great thump and I woke up, and I heard someone scrabbling out on the front yard, near Sarah's sister's car. I hurled myself from the bed and charged outside, pausing at the door only long enough to grab the first available weapon, a large (extremely flimsy) wicker chair. There were two figures grappling in the moonlight beside Joanne's car, and I bounded towards them, chair held over my head, ready to smite some evildoer hip and thigh.

Then this extremely bright halogen lamp was shone in my eye, and I avertd my eyes, gesturing threateningly with the chair, and when I could see again there was a policeman lying on the ground with a handcuffed man, and the policeman stared at me and said "Go back inside and put some effing clothes on."

It was then I realised I was naked, and standing on my front lawn in front of a few disgruntled prisoners and two other police officers, and that I was attractively lit from beneath. It was then that Sarah, who had followed me outside (but more sensibly clad in a dressing gown) realised that the door had swung shut behind us. And it was shortly after that that we realised that we would have to get Sarah's crippled mother out of bed to open the door and let us in.

If you find yourself in this position (the "someone is stealing my car" position, not the "I am naked in front of strangers, threatening them while blind and outnumbered, and someone is shining a two thousand watt light through my genitals" position), it may be worth while doing a quick calculation about the relative costs and benefits of acting. Joanne's car at the time was worth less than two hundreed and fifty dollars, the radiator was tied on with baling twine and instead of a petrol cap she had a rag.

From what I could work out, it had been a car chase and the fugitives had ran into a lightpole and fled, but had been apprehended by two squad cars.

Anyhow, these posts may be intermittent for the next few days. Thanks to the people who leave comments, by the way, I don't know if it's netiquette to reply individually or what, but I shall try. Thanks again.



Blogger Benedict 16th said...

This is the internet, how about some pictures of the scene? Perhaps not. Well done on your team getting the upset of the millenium.

Benny XVI

11:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Upset, yes, but upset of the millenium? Not really, given that I tipped it in my office competition :)

11:28 PM  

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